A Rainy Ride

The rain hammered hard. It fell from the clouds and dragged my spirit with it, it ran from my head, rolled down my back, round the cheeks of my butt and eventually fell off the rear of my saddle into my rear wheel, only to be slung around and splatted against my white staining jersey. This was going to happen for at least another 50 kilometres. The joy.

Glasses don’t really help either, they fog up as my heavy respiration forces warm breath from my mouth upwards onto the cold lenses. I wiped them often, but they just get smudged and grimy from the dates I ate and the sugary energy bars that kept me going..

My helmet may as well have been a swimming pool. Every time I tilted my head captured rain would fall through the vents and run down my back. The helmet was essential due to the fact that the chances of crashing were considerably higher as the lack of friction was becoming a problem.

Damn the rain.

I aquaplaned a few times leaning into corners. It’s scary, but exciting in an adrenaline boosting way, it grabs your attention and makes sure you don’t forget that every corner is now your enemy.

My shoes were completely waterlogged. Each turn of the pedals created a squelch, an irritating noise it would seem as time goes by. My toes were going numb, a feeling I’m still getting used to.

The only parts of me that stayed warm were my hands and legs. Mainly because I had two pairs of gloves on and my legs were constantly spinning around.

Had it been a warm day we would have been travelling a lot faster as there would have been a reduced risk of crashing. But no, I had decided I would ride in this weather.

People often ask why one would go and ride in the rain. The answer is simple.

I love cycling more than anything in the world. More than eating rhubarb and custard sweets, more than a cold one in the summer, more than the smile on my girlfriends face…

When you truly love something you’ll do anything to feel that feeling of happiness, joy, ecstasy…

New Year and Stuff.

So, here it is. The New Year.

Happy New Year to you, I wish you all the best for the coming 365 days.

I’ve got quite a few plans for this year, most of which are cycling, education and fitness related. Maybe a little bit of self improvement too?!

I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time to read my blog/s. Without seeing the hits on my posts I’m really doing this for nothing, it would look like I’m only typing to clear my head. However the stats show me that people from all corners of the world have read and continue to read my blog/s.

To start…

The year just passed.

If you’ve read my blog throughout the past year you’ll know that a lot has happened to me, some good and some bad. I did a lot for myself last year and really just started to understand who I am and what I’m doing here on this planet. I did quite a few things I’d never really do, I regretted some of the decisions I made but I also took opportunities I would never take too!

Everything I did has helped me to become who I am now and has helped me in planning a future based around the things I love.

The year ahead.

This year I aim to give you as much information as possible about what I’m doing, Training, Food, Music, Races… blah blah… And in return I’d like to hear back from you. Does anything I write about offend you? Motivate you? Even interest you? Let me know so I can improve what you see.

I have a secret plan for this year. I can’t tell you what it is obviously but I’m sure as the years comes to a close you’ll guess and maybe even understand what’s happening. Everything I do this year is working towards the secret… Dun dun dun…

You can follow me on…

Twitter; @Irideroad

Facebook; RideWithI

Instagram; @irideroad

Stay Flemish,

Orca Out.

Gran Fondo 8, SiS Summer 100 and Shimano Summer Challenge!

Sunday 10th August 2014

You always get a good view when you're on a bike

I'm sat here listening to E-Bow by Sigur Ros, a beautiful track, staring at this screen, teary eyed as the music fills my ears and memories fill my mind. I find a quote after searching online for something to express how I feel right now and this is what I found...

"Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams."

The last week has been brilliant for me, in so many different ways.

Coffee

Thursday...

I finally got to see the insides of the Conti, something I've wanted to do for a long time. I need to know how it works, without this machine I wouldn't be very good at my job.

I managed to speak to the technician as he went about repairing the machine. He was extremely patient as i wrote notes and drew diagrams for future reference, he talked me through every single part of the machine, mentioning what they do and how they do it. It was a brilliant experience...

Cycling

I did just under 300k this week, I should have really done more... Training is all that matters...

Monday...

I'm waiting for my Racing licence to come through the in the post so I can start looking ahead at the CX season over winter. This will be a great learning and training season for me, I'm' not going to be looking for the win, but if the opportunity shows itself I will attack until my legs are jelly!

Wednesday...

So this ride was pretty cool, minus the fact I was left to go solo 25 Miles in due to Dale having a puncture... But that's not going to stop the Orca from smashing his way up and down hills in the dark! I managed to cover 91.2km in the end, so i wasn't too disappointed about doing it solo. Plus I was on a total high due to the night before...

Sprinting around on Alice, no hands!

This ride made me feel incredible, the mixture of being out with my best friend, doing the thing I love more than anything, the views and the great memories from the night before made me break down. I cried on a downhill section overlooking Clanfield. The feelings were too much for me to handle, I just had to let it out... I also had to let Dale know how much I appreciate him.

Saturday...

I finished work at 6.30, went home, cleaned my kit, threw some food and gels into my musette, charged my Garmin and planned the route... I then rode to Dales to pick him up and off we went.

Gran Fondo 8 and SiS Summer 100 were my goals, complete them both in one ride! On top of that I used the ride as a top up for the Shimano Summer Challenge, 600k in 16 days.

At first I didn't think Dale would have been able to even do 100 plus miles, thankfully I was wrong. He was great company for what was to be a cold, windy and rainy ride.

We climbed, we descended and we CTFU. We rode 50 miles before our first break, we sat in the road on top of a hill somewhere near Bishops Waltham.

One of the nice things about being up in the hills and away from towns is the lack of traffic and the fortunate lack of light pollution. Unfortunately the sky was full of huge clouds and we couldn't see the moon or stars, this is usually a perk I look forward to. Thankfully there were no cars around for miles, so we were not blinded every ten seconds unlike on other rides.

We had ridden around 60 miles when Dale mentioned he had a front puncture... Fuck!

Just what we needed. I was standing around not being very much help at all, freezing to death and CTFU. Dale luckily had packed his saddle bag with everything we needed, he fixed the puncture promptly and we were off again... Then it started raining... Not just raining... Pissing down!

We were drenched, worried about our phones in our jersey pockets and the terrible country road surfaces in the wet. I was blinded in one eye for at least a mile and a half, which was not very fun considering we were on a downhill.

The rain stopped as we re-entered Meon, however the wind was still howling at us, it was torture.

So, anyhow we managed to get on top of Portsdown Hill, somewhere near Southwick, but not using the A road... It was a complete mission climbing 128 meters after riding in conditions we had been riding in. At last we made it to the top... Everyone knows that what goes up must come down... And we did... Fast!

We descended into Fareham and rode towards Gosport... This is when I threw in the towel "I don't want to ride down that fucking road" I really dislike this particular road, I was cranky as hell, tired and cold. I just wanted to get home.

So we turned around and headed back towards Portsmouth.

We got onto the island and headed towards Clarence Pier, we needed to do a lap of the seafront and then add on how ever many miles Dale needed to make it to a complete century. We finished our lap in Eastney and turned to find another 4 miles. We pedaled and pedaled. In one mile I had completed my 3 challenges, 3 miles after that Dale would complete 2 of them too! I started shouting words of motivation. Our speed raised as well as our spirits.

Its a brilliant feeling seeing someone complete such a big ride, the biggest ride they've ever done! The longest time spent in the saddle! The highest number of meters climbed! The personal records stacked up!

A smile crept onto my face. Dale had done it! I had done it!

I didn't care much for my own goals, I only had time for my best friends achievements!

I'm so proud of him for everything! He really impressed me on this ride. He was great company, a great wind breaker and a complete fighter!

I rode back to Dales to pick up some amazing cake he had made, Peanut butter and chocolate spread marble cake! It was amazing and definitely helped in my recovery!

I got home and collapsed onto the floor, looked around for a while and decided I needed sleep. I slept.

Flandrian tanlines...Hot!

Check my Strava/Challenges page for all my ride information.

Personal/Other

 Go out and listen to Arkells new album High Noon! Its great, I wouldn't say its better than the old albums but it's on par.

Saw nan, all is ok. She went to Legoland with my Brother, she's a total nutter!

Get in touch?

Facebook-Instagram-Twitter

Just click on the boxes on the right!

Stay Flemish!

Orca out!

A personal one.

My name's Jordan, I'm awesome!

So today I just really want to talk about life,

Recently mine has been all over the place; I've been lower than I have ever been before and felt so terrible for the things I've done and said, for the people I've hurt and those I've ignored.

However from doing this to everyone I have personally had the greatest 2 months of my life, I haven't had to worry about anyone else but myself, I've been able to do whatever I want, when I want. I know it sounds selfish, but when you've been constantly working for other people a little time out is needed.

So I've been out riding the bikes, chilling with my true friends, I've moved house, worked hard, met new genuine people, tried a different diet, taken chances I would never usually take (and maybe regretted some of them) listened to some awesome new tracks and most of all, I have actually felt good about myself... This to me is the most important point.

No one should have to feel left out, alone, sad.... the list goes on, making a few simple changes in your life can change everything. I know, I just did it and I feel great.

So over the last few weeks what have I done?

We visited some hoes!

Riding....

I've been out so much recently, most rides I have been accompanied by the most amazing guy I have ever had the chance to meet, work with and ride with.
This guy (and partner) have done so much for me over the past 2 months, I really can not thank them enough.

Dale "The Wheels" Elder: Ultimate ride partner.

Dale, Bossing it as usual!

I met Dale About 2 1/2 years ago and we hit it off straight away. He's funny as hell, hard working and just a really cool guy. I got him to come out riding with me, god what a mission it was for the first few rides!

But, he stuck at it, in 2 years he's gone from "back of the pack" to "domestique extraordinaire".
Sticking on my wheel up climbs, breaking wind in front of me and setting me up for sprints like a one man sprint train and he's a motivational diva.

Pin-up girl material.

He's definitely changed, for the best of course. At the same time I would like him to always stay the same, right now everything is perfect.

So we've been riding around and the distances we go are getting longer and the chats we have on the bikes are getting stranger. We've recently started "getting lost".

Getting lost?

Getting lost is just riding in any direction, finding a place you've never been and just keep going. We've ridden in circles which is very annoying. We've climbed hundreds of hills and have even tried cyclocross... Unintentionally, but quite thankfully. Its a thrill, the adrenaline feels amazing, the fear of crashing keeps you on edge and the possibility of punctures makes you want to quit. Which we did not, we rode that trail like true Flandrian Hard Men.

And in getting lost we have started using my Garmin to its full capacity and using the maps. So we don't get completely lost...
Planning routes of 50-70 miles for only 2 people to ride is quite hard as distance and time are hard to keep track of when looking on a scree,. riding the route on the road, not knowing if you're going to be climbing or descending is a hassle and you don't want to be out all night in the cold and under-fed, so planning ahead is crucial.

We recently did a ride with a friend of a friend, which I was very insistent that Dale was ready for as I didn't want to look "un-Pro". Dales partner had prepared musettes for the three of us! That was amazing! Peanut butter sandwiches, Granola bars, Brownies and Flapjacks! Everything an ever hungry cyclist needs for a ride.

So we did the ride, got halfway and our tag along had a mechanical issue, so the returning half of the ride was at a slower pace... until his chain snapped. Fuck!

I've never seen a chain snap, I don't even know anyone who's had a chain snap, this was a first and I was quite shocked at how easily a snap can happen. Thankfully I have spares, but not with me on that ride, so we said goodnight and road on...

The rainbow road.

Rainbow Road Ridin'

One of the best things about riding is, you never know what's going to happen.

Me and Dale were out riding and we reached a junction on a bike path, I said
"Let's go left"
So we start riding along this bike path until we get to the most amazing thing I have ever seen while riding my bike.

The whole bike path was covered in Pink, Red, Blue, Green and Yellow chalk! It was everywhere! We rode through it, the bikes got covered in chalk, we were getting chalk on us and the chalk was being kicked up into the air, it was beautiful!

Impromptu Photoshoot!

This was easily one of the best rides I've ever been on, it was so unexpected and really raised our moods. I will always remember that night, riding with my best friend, in chalk, at night.... Bliss.

Getting Fancy with the Camera

More recently,

Just standing in a field, asking you to love me.

We rode from Portsmouth to Southampton via Clanfield and Bishops Waltham.
A big loop round the top of Portsmouth and then back down through to Fareham.

This ride was just brilliant because of the amount of climbing we did. We had never ridden on 70% of the roads, and this is when we tried cyclocross.


I am planning to complete 2 Strava challenges in one ride next Sunday (10.08) The SiS Summer 100 and the Strava Gran Fondo 8.

The first being a ride of 100 miles in one ride and the other being 130km in one ride. So my pre-planned route of 156 mile should be plenty to complete both challenges and rocket me up the leaderboard. If you would like to join me just drop me a message on any of the social networks at the bottom of the page and I'll send you the .gpx file!

Getting messed up!

Work/Coffee

Work has been good, same old.

Not exactly.

Well, being appointed Head Barista is pretty sick, a little bit of control and influence is always a good thing...
You know when you just like things done a certain way? Being able to pick up on the little things is awesome and knowing that things are being done correctly gives a sense of accomplishment, picking which coffees we serve is amazing too. I can pick flavours I like and hopefully get others to like them too!

There's also a new girl! She's pretty cool, into the whole Health and Fitness... I don't know if anyone else has this problem? But is it just me or is it really hard to find a girl who is genuinely into Health and Fitness? These girls are so rare!
Check out her Blog The Endorphin Diaries

I am still working on improving myself, a few new designs are being practised at the moment, not got them perfect enough yet to want to show anyone pictures. I've been searching for loads of different little things I can do to improve my skill set. Tara bought an amazing book called Coffee Obsession by Anette Moldvaer.

Its a brilliant read with some great basic information on coffee, but the main reason for mentioning this book is the recipes inside! They're awesome. They all contain coffee, some with alcohol and some with fruit... Just check it out for yourself and create some amazing drinks!

I tried the Coffee Cola recipe, using a double shot of our Jailbreak Espresso from HasBean, Ice and 250ml of Coca Cola.... It was really tasty, you can distinguish both coffee and cola but there seemed to be a hint of really juicy red cherries too! But saying that, I wouldn't drink too much of it because your teeth will fall out...

At home I've been making cold brewed Cascara and cold brewed Vanilla Iced Tea, both of which are super tasty, I made my housemates try the Cascara, they loved it which is a win, I mentioned it tasted like Marmalade and they were begging me for it! However the Vanilla Iced Tea is just too good to let anyone else have. But you can go buy some and make it yourself? I get my Vanilla tea from All About Tea and the Cascara from Hasbean.

Personal/Other Stuff

So on the girl front... I don't even know anymore? I guess I sort of give up? I'm currently just very happy being me, doing what I want. But, you know, if there's someone out there who likes the same stuff as me and isn't a complete nightmare....

My Nan was in hospital for a few days with a suspected Heart Attack, which sucked big time. This lady has really done more than she should have had to do with her life already, I can't express my love for her enough without crying and looking a complete mess. You'll never understand true love until someone has given up 18 years of their life to raise you even though they shouldn't have, she should have been enjoying her life. (And  I know she would argue that if she would have done it a hundred times over and never regretted anything) I am truly thankful and blessed for everything she has done and when something like the above has happened it really gets you going...

I emailed Portsmouth University about my Course next year too! Excited to start that!

IRR.cc, I am still currently trying to sort this out, its a nightmare trying to fit stuff in and around other things...
But, things are looking good for the .cc so I'm happy... for now...

IRR.cc - Best Bro's

Music has been pretty sweet, there's a new Gaslight anthem out soon, so I'm stoked!
I borrowed my housemates guitar last night and had a solo jam session, at least I've not forgotten everything.

Looking at buying an S-Works Venge too! Really happy about this, going to take a while to build the frame up, fortunately I have a few spares banging around... A nice new project to keep me busy.

The France and Belgium trip is still being planned, I also started planning a 2-3 day training trip to Wales. So I'm really excited that its starting to feel a bit more realistic.




Thanks very much for popping by and reading about my life....
I promise more bike related stuff soon....

If I've not bored you to death and you want to keep up to date please follow the links below!
Alternatively click on one of those Cups/Mugs on the side bar!

Facebook// Irideroad.cc
Twitter// @irideroad
Instagram// IRideRoad


Also If you're on Strava hit me up... Jordan Clarke on Strava
Alternatively Garmin me? Irideroad

Chippin' 'ell lad! Part 1

Spartacus is back!

25th June 2014

So as I said yesterday I'm travelling to Bristol today... I've already been and am writing this on the train back. What the hell? I just looked out the window and there’s a giant white horse?

Anyway, it's been a pretty sweet day, the sun is shining, I have Spartacus back and I've travelled the farthest away from home ever alone. I feel a bit grown up...

So firstly, travelling to and from...

I had planned my wake up to perfection. I had 3 or 4 alarms waiting to blast out an annoying tune to wake me up, they did not need to, i was awake half an hour before they were due to go off, so all I needed to do was get dressed and pack my laptop. After doing this the taxi was phoned, I had at least 40 mins to get to the train station....

But boy did it get close to missing my train, I stood and waited and waited for the taxi, the minutes passing and my worry growing, if I missed the train my whole day would be screwed! Eventually the taxi arrived 15 mins "late" his excuse... The traffic.

So finally I get to the station and buy my tickets with 4 mins to spare, a very close call for someone who likes to plan ahead.

The train arrives and as you can imagine, it’s already packed, people are complaining over reserved seats and the heat already... We have not even started moving... Shut up!

Damn, the ticket lady has got it going on!

I arrive at Bristol Temple Meads unharmed, now to wait an hour for the train to Yate...

There was no way in hell I was waiting at the station for an hour so I asked if I could pop outside, they let me through and I got to see Bristol for the first time... What a S**t tip.

Half the buildings were falling apart by the looks of things, there were a lot of advertisements all over the buildings, begging for someone to buy the space and "develop" the area.

I strolled along the main road just looking around, some of the buildings are beautiful, and some are not. 

I keep walking until I stop and see "Baristas Coffee Collective" I immediately enter. Upon entering I see a bar, a snug area with a projector aimed at the wall showing a blue square (obviously nothing on today?) and a few people standing up at the bar, one ordering the other two on bar stools drinking their coffee.

I was in a rush so didn't really get time to look at the full menu of drinks or food, so I did what any normal person does when being asked the question...

"What would you like today?" 

At least the barista was nice, 

"Urrrrrrrrrrrrgh?" You know this noise? This is what I did, just like you do when you don't know what to order....

"Double espresso please?"

"1.60 please"

"That’s cheap" I thought, probably going to be a bit crap then?

Well, what was handed to me in an espresso cup can only be called liquid gold. Peachy liquid gold. Gold.

I lifted the gold to my nose and smelled the coffee, peach.

I dipped my finger in the crema and tasted it, intense, thick, dark and rich.

Finally I lifted it to my mouth, sipped and swilled. It was heaven, flavour rushed my tongue. The longer I held it in my mouth the more it tasted of peaches. I was in love for about 30 seconds... I had to leave and get my train.

However you can experience the same pleasure as me by going and visiting them some info below.

Baristas Coffee Collective

FB/ BCC

So I walk back to the train station and board the train.

The thing I've noticed all day is that trains are crap, I often complain about how horrible the ones in and around Portsmouth are, green, dirty... falling apart!? But never again will I complain, have you been to Bristol and used the trains here? I thought I was going to die.

However another thing I noticed was that the further away from a major city you get the nicer the train stations get? It’s a shame that this is the case, I'd rather have nice trains and nice stations. Hell, even just having trains I feel safe in would be an improvement!

All day, or at least the times I was sat on a train the scenery was beautiful, there are so many beautiful houses and castles/churches/I don't even know what they are but they were pretty sweet!

Anyway back to the point....

I made it to Yate, the train station is about 50ft below the main road so you have to climb up a set of stairs which take you up onto a bridge which crosses the tracks. But when you get to the top you are welcomed to the town of Yate. The view is nothing extraordinary but it’s not until you start walking towards my destination, Chipping Sodbury, the next town across, that you notice how wide the roads are, how even though it’s the middle of the day traffic is minimal and that everyone seems to be in a good mood? Something in the water? Yate also came second in their first Britain in Bloom entry in 2011, maybe that’s why it’s so nice? Little fact for you there, I'm so knowledgeable... "Cough" thanks Google.

So, I had to walk to Chipping Sodbury from Yate, it's really not too far. Plus when the weather was as nice as it was today it's beautiful, the only shame is that you do have to walk all the way down a main road, however it is lined with wild flowers, so it's not too bad, and you do have something to look at.

After about a half hour walk I arrived in what can only be described as the most beautiful and old fashioned/ authentic town centre in the UK. 

You really do need to see the place to understand how amazing it is. So like a complete tourist I asked a passer-by where the local police station was...

"'Halfway down t' high street"

So I wandered down looking at everything, I mean everything, the buildings were beautiful (I've used that word far too many times already, but it's the truth). Finally I reach the police station, shaking with anxiety and excitement, I was also a bit scared. What if something’s happened to Spartacus? 

That has been my only real fear in this ordeal, the fact that I don't know what’s happening half the time, communication between oneself and the authorities has been quite minimal. So the whole time I have been expecting something to have gone wrong at some point. 

I enter the police station, which may I add looks amazing from the outside, and as I entered it reminded me of my old school, polished wood and smooth red brick, cold but clean. 

I walk up to the desk and wait for 20 seconds until an older fellow turns up from around the corner.

I tell him that I am here to pick up my bike, where I have come from and about my day, how impressed i am with the town and how very pleased i am that someone on his small police force has been able to locate my bike and recover it.

He replies with,

"You're very lucky to get this back"

To which I reply

"I know, very lucky. I didn't think I'd see it again"

So I take a seat after handing over the paper work.

Stolen bikes, Awesome sunsets and a Hedgehog???

I'm not dead!

Sorry for the lack of posts... The reason...

As many of you may know I had my bike stolen a few months back now, and it sucked big time.

When something that means so much to you is stolen the feelings you feel are hard to explain, I honestly didn't know how to react to finding Spartacus missing from my workplace, a place I thought it would be safe. How was I meant to get home? How was I supposed to go out and ride?

So obviously after phoning the police and giving a complete description of Spartacus I just had to sit and wait. I waited and waited.

Until finally one day at work a policeman walks in and asks for me.

Long story short… They found him!

So I'm off to Bristol of all places tomorrow! They moved him to a complete different county! But he’s safe! I literally cannot wait to see that beast again!

Other than my life being screwed for a month…

Amazing sunset whilst riding.

 

I bought a Specialized Allez as a replacement until I got Spartacus back, it’s a mean machine and for what I paid I got an absolute bargain. “Alice” as she is now called rides like a dream. Fast as hell in any direction! After having a bike fit a few months back I really noticed the difference in choosing the correct frame size and stem length, both of which are perfect on Alice.

Work has been ok, I've been trying some new latte art out and have had some good feedback, and I’m also in love with cold brew!

Yesterday I viewed a house just around the corner from work and it looks like I’m moving in on Friday! So I am going to be pretty busy this week. I hopefully have a ride planned on Sunday too which is sweet. Since getting Alice I've not really been in much, I've been at work or out smashing it up hills. My legs are feeling like tree trunks right now, so it’s time to order some new kit…

Met this little dude on a ride.

Me and my friend Dale have been discussing “Irideroad” as a brand quite a lot recently and are looking to start our own local team, so plans for kit are underway and finding a few sponsors are too! So if you know anyone who wants some advertising let me know and we'll see what they can offer in exchange for being plastered on our chests and backs…. We're also looking to start a few community projects too. I’m currently planning something to combine my two loves too, but that will have to be a whole separate post entirely.

I hope to be able to do a post every other day and if I can persuade Dale into it get him to do some guest posts, he’s my main man “The Mechanic” So no doubt he'll be able to help you with some repairs, fitting and general care tips for your ride.

Stay Flemish

JC out!

IRIDEROAD presents How To Be A Roadie Part 1

We all want to know, so here are some quick tips.

Start watching every race. Even if you're at work.

Always talk about races, riders & new tech and clothing.

 Buy a bike which costs more than a family car, the reason for this is to prove how dedicated to cycling you are and to give you bragging rights.

"Hey man, how much did that cost? £800? Pffft. Look at this! £13,000 beauty!"

Go out and buy all the best equipment. Helmet, Shoes, Garmin, Bib Shorts, Bib Tights, Jerseys, Rain Jackets, Gilets, Glasses, Shoe covers, Long Socks, Ankle Socks, Base Layers and Gloves. You must spend a minimum of£1000 on this. You know why? Because next season you're going to throw it all away and buy the new stuff anyway!

Shave your legs!

Tell everyone you know that you shave your legs!

"Don't tell anyone but... I shaved my legs..."

Try at least 6 different diets. Gluten Free, Vegan, Vegetarian, High Carb, Low Carb...

Talk about how you could have been Pro...

"I was offered a slot on ---- Team, but i have a family now and don't want to be away from them"

Start looking for group rides on Saturday evenings.

Turn up at a Sunday ride. Even if you know nobody. Continue to speed off all day and say stuff like...

"Come on! My Son is faster than you"

"Looks like you should have had a banana instead of that cake at the last stop"

"This is my Recovery day and I'm still faster than you guys"

"Have I seen you before? Oh Yeah! You're the guy I dropped half an hour ago"

Start hanging out at Coffee Shops and shun others who don't.

Start ignoring people riding bikes cheaper than yours.

"You are not worthy!"

Ignore all Mountain Bike riders. They're stupid.

Always wave at other Road bike users, unless they're Hipsters riding Fixed.

"If you don't ride with drop bars... We can't be friends"

Never let anyone else ride your bike. She's precious.

Even when you're not riding, wear something which shows you'e a cyclist, be it a T-Shirt, Cuffed Socks or just your ICE Band.

Talk about all your KOMs on Strava.

"I'm so fast man, just check my Strava"

Never tell your partner how much you spent on bike parts/clothing this month.

Pass off brands like Fox and Red Bull, you'd rather have Vulpine and a refreshing homemade smoothie.

"Gives you wings? Yeah right! More like gives you the shits"

Say no to drugs! You don't want to be Lance of your Sunday group ride.

"No, the only Belgian Mix I want is a selection of beers"

Stop at red lights, we need to end that stereotype.

"We all know its Hipsters and Mountain Bike riders, us Roadies are good guys"

Ride between 9pm and 3am, there's no traffic and it shows dedication.


Expect more. Want to add a tip? Let me know on...

Facebook/ridewithi
Twitter: @irideroad
Instagram: irideroad