IRIDEROAD presents How To Be A Roadie Part 1

We all want to know, so here are some quick tips.

Start watching every race. Even if you're at work.

Always talk about races, riders & new tech and clothing.

 Buy a bike which costs more than a family car, the reason for this is to prove how dedicated to cycling you are and to give you bragging rights.

"Hey man, how much did that cost? £800? Pffft. Look at this! £13,000 beauty!"

Go out and buy all the best equipment. Helmet, Shoes, Garmin, Bib Shorts, Bib Tights, Jerseys, Rain Jackets, Gilets, Glasses, Shoe covers, Long Socks, Ankle Socks, Base Layers and Gloves. You must spend a minimum of£1000 on this. You know why? Because next season you're going to throw it all away and buy the new stuff anyway!

Shave your legs!

Tell everyone you know that you shave your legs!

"Don't tell anyone but... I shaved my legs..."

Try at least 6 different diets. Gluten Free, Vegan, Vegetarian, High Carb, Low Carb...

Talk about how you could have been Pro...

"I was offered a slot on ---- Team, but i have a family now and don't want to be away from them"

Start looking for group rides on Saturday evenings.

Turn up at a Sunday ride. Even if you know nobody. Continue to speed off all day and say stuff like...

"Come on! My Son is faster than you"

"Looks like you should have had a banana instead of that cake at the last stop"

"This is my Recovery day and I'm still faster than you guys"

"Have I seen you before? Oh Yeah! You're the guy I dropped half an hour ago"

Start hanging out at Coffee Shops and shun others who don't.

Start ignoring people riding bikes cheaper than yours.

"You are not worthy!"

Ignore all Mountain Bike riders. They're stupid.

Always wave at other Road bike users, unless they're Hipsters riding Fixed.

"If you don't ride with drop bars... We can't be friends"

Never let anyone else ride your bike. She's precious.

Even when you're not riding, wear something which shows you'e a cyclist, be it a T-Shirt, Cuffed Socks or just your ICE Band.

Talk about all your KOMs on Strava.

"I'm so fast man, just check my Strava"

Never tell your partner how much you spent on bike parts/clothing this month.

Pass off brands like Fox and Red Bull, you'd rather have Vulpine and a refreshing homemade smoothie.

"Gives you wings? Yeah right! More like gives you the shits"

Say no to drugs! You don't want to be Lance of your Sunday group ride.

"No, the only Belgian Mix I want is a selection of beers"

Stop at red lights, we need to end that stereotype.

"We all know its Hipsters and Mountain Bike riders, us Roadies are good guys"

Ride between 9pm and 3am, there's no traffic and it shows dedication.


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